I’m really digging this kid,like for real. I’m pretty sure everyone in my class could tell too. But I’m like 100% he would never like me. So I’m too effing scared to actually do anything about it even though I really want to get to know him and shit! Ugh.
It was your “mutual attractiveness” that brought you together?
HAHA no bitch.
It’s the fact that youre a dumb cunt. I’m not even afraid to call you out on the fact that you are a dumb fucking cunt. The fact that you flirt with EVERY fucking boy in that band hall is why you are dating,because you’re a cunt. You sent me this long as text about how you could never like him,so not only are you a cunt,but you’re a fucking liar! I hope you fucking see this,and fucking realize I’m not the only one who hates your fucking guts! Wanna know why? Because you’re a shitty ass person.
And I’ll admit,that this pretty fucked up too, but since its about you,I really just don’t give a shit.
I hope that when he fucking kisses you,holds your hand or buys you flowers or tells you that he loves you, he did and said all of that to me first. So I hope you guys are happy! Shit faced people belong together! I still hope the fucking both of you trip at graduation and end up fucking hating each other.
Somedays,I just really want to kill myself.
And some of those days,I realize nothing is stopping me,and it takes pure strength not to do it.
The thing that upsets me the most,is that even though you have destroyed me,when i fly down,I still want to talk to you. Like..I know seeing your face would destroy me,but I just really want to talk to you. And see what went wrong,why I wasn’t good enough to fight for and run out of the room crying when I couldn’t handle it anymore.
So,I guess if you ever see this,if for some reason you want to talk to me too…please do..even though you will probably never see this..a girl can hope.
Felicia just said yes to her and I having a Bonfire to burn the stuff josh gave me! I know I’m going to cry for a long time after it,but damn,when I’m done crying I’m going to feel so good.
I’ll dance around the fire singing songs about hate and sadness to make me feel better. Whatevs.haha.
So I’m aware that a large chunk of my followers are friends with,female icky face. So,it would be much appreciated that if you do talk about her or post a picture of her on tumblr,if you would pretty please tag it with her name. Just because I have that tag blocked so I dont have to see anything about her.
It would really be appreciated and would help with my recovery if there was just one social networking place where I don’t see her name or face.
I know it seems drastic,but it would really mean a lot and I would appreciate it so much.
Dear Jay-however you spell the rest of your name,
I am sorry you have seen the hurtful words I have written about you,however,I am not sorry that I said them and I’m not going to apologize for that. Those rants were for my benefit of release of the feelings I had. I never meant for you to see them,and I am sorry you did. I know you will not see this,and I am okay with that. This is more for my benefit than it is for yours. This is to clear my guilt of you seeing the rants. I may not be your biggest fan,but I would never go out of my way to purposely hurt you, that would provide no benefit to me. We will never be friends,and I will never want to be buddies and actually talk to you,you have hurt me too much for that. I will continue to rant,when need be,but only because I know you have made it so you can’t see it. I will not say sorry for the feelings I have towards you and your shitface boyfriend,but I feel as if I have backing as to why I feel this way,and I’m going to feel like this for a long time.But,i am saying sorry for hurting you with the words you saw.
I just really want someone to make me a welcome home sign when I fly down to Washington):
I’m going to go on a little personal rant it’s on two separate things soo;
The new awkward as all about sex and first times,and I started thinking about josh,and it fucking killed me. I don’t have this special idea of virginity,it’s not a holy grail to me, but I shared a special part of me with him, I have him all of me, and that meant nothing to him. I gave all of what I had to him,and he just threw me away. I’m mostly over it…but i still get these moments when all I can do is think about is him and what we had and how someone else is making him happier than I did,and that kills me.
The p.e kid,Aaron, and I are “dating” I guess. It doesn’t feel like dating to me,we barely talk, and he doesn’t make me feel anything special. He’s sweet. I enjoy the kissing and stuff..but I know,that this “relationship” is in no way going to work. And I know,that I probably won’t end it,probably just because I enjoy the company,and I like him. He is already kind of clingy.. And already said “love you” to which I responded “tooooo soon dude.” And then I felt really bad. He wants a relationship where I love you’s are said and felt.
But I’m really just not ready for that and I don’t really want that. I want kisses an sweetness but no I love you’s. I think after the break up,I don’t want to take risks,or feel love. I don’t want that fear of being thrown away.
Anywhoo,all in all,I’m a helpless bitch,you still possibly loves her ex even though he threw her away,and is possibly using a crush that wants more to get over it.
Ugh,I’m such a bitch,fuck my life.
I’m so excited to be flying down to Washington. I’m seriously going to cry my eyes out when I see everyone. I’m going to be the worlds happiest Becca too. I don’t even care if ill most likely see male and female poopy faces,nothing will be able to dampen my mood.
I can’t wait to see my favorite people graduate and cry at the thought of them moving to the next step of their lives.
Im just so excited to so the people who mean the world to me and have shared so many memories with me.